15 January 2009

Guessing Games

I’ve waited 64 years to become a pensioner. Not because I can actually claim the pension, which I do and I receive that each fortnight with great glee. (I don't know why I waited so long to do that. Next time, I'll do it sooner).

However, if I appear to be a cranky old woman at times, most people will smile indulgently and whisper knowingly to each other.

Don’t get me wrong. Not all pensioners are cranky and actually receiving the pension does not presuppose that one will automatically become cranky. I’m the cranky one and to be quite honest, I enjoy it at times. Grey hair excuses a lot and I play on it like mad. Those who don’t smile at me and whisper indulgently are probably cranky themselves.

Let me give you an example of cranky. Last evening my phone went. A very friendly voice on the other end said:

“Hello, how are you?”

Now I gathered from the friendliness of the greeting that it was someone I knew, but who? In the space of the few seconds allotted to me, I guessed who it was:

“Oh hi! Are you back in Australia or calling from Bali?”

“No,” said the voice, more cautiously. “I’m in Australia, down the back, actually. It’s X. Who did you think it was?”

I obviously didn’t think it was X, did I? I thought it was someone calling from Bali.

Another example, someone else rang me one time. Without even the courtesy of a hello, I got a barrage of information, news and anecdotes which, to me, seemed totally unconnected to anything or anyone I knew.

Eventually I interrupted this monologue and said:

“Excuse me, but who am I listening to?”

There was an astounded silence on the other end and then a very injured voice said:

“It’s me, A. Who did you think it was?”

“Well, why didn’t you say so?” I retorted testily. “I’m not a mind reader.”

Then there are the callers who gabble their names so quickly, you still haven’t a clue who’s calling and ask them to repeat their name please. For some reason or other, they can’t understand why you shouldn’t be able to decipher rapid speech and become quite offended when they have to repeat themselves. Don’t they realise that hearing slows down with age, too?

So, tell me. What’s wrong with saying one’s name when ringing someone, or speaking slowly and clearly so that a cranky old woman such as I can understand who she might be talking to?

People who ring and don’t announce themselves seem to be presuming they must be the only friend you have and that you sit by the phone all day awaiting their phone call with bated breath. Those who gabble at you obviously think your life must be as frenetic as theirs. See what I mean by cranky?

I’m not going to play guessing games any more with people who don’t announce themselves. Frankly, I have better things to do, like ringing a friend and saying:

“Hi, how are you?” and waiting for them to guess who’s calling.

Copyright to me. If you break the copyright, I'll rip your arm off and whack you around the head with it.


Gattina said...

Hehehe, cranky woman ! Dye your hair in blond as I do, that's already one step. Apparently I educated my phone callers very well because they always say their names. Even those who want to sell me a new leather furniture or the best wine in France !

Anonymous said...

You mean I have to wait til I'm 64 before I can get away with being cranky? This post really made me laugh Robyn...LOUDLY.

Flip Flop Floozie said...

Well you know I have to agree with Gattina this time..dye your hair it works wonders!! Smile!! It makes you less cranky and I don't see people whispering about me...that is as of yet!! smile!!
Have a great day..I will not copy your blog...I like keeping my arm where it is now...

Hootin' Anni said...

You go girl!!! I'm right there with you. But deal is around here, since we have retired, we don't even use the phone. LOLOLOL

This was great. I use my gray hair to my advantage all the time.

Walker said...

If anyone says you're cranky just tell them you were worse before your got your pension but now that you get it, it's just them that get you that way. LMAO!!!!!!!

Mountain Mama said...

Well Darn! I guess I already went through that cranky stage. I'll be seventy in a week and I'm too dang tired to grump!
I think I need a good spring tonic. DO you know of one? Mama used to take something called Geritol but I don't think they make it any more.

TorAa said...

What can I say?
A very young man, born as late as in 1945. Still working and loves it.

But, I must admit, my Cell Phone (it's old to be that kind of equipment) causes me some "hearing" problems. If I only can see the number ant not the name of the person calling me. Then I react much the same way as you do.

ps. What about a Friday Fun Challenge.
Tomorrow (Saturday)- you know it will be about Hat(s). On Photothing

Jellyhead said...

Tee hee hee! I love your last line!!

Oh, and thank you so much for the award you passed on to myself and the other four bloggers. I have been away for a week, so only just saw your message to me on my blog today. THANK YOU again!

Remiman said...

Hi, it's me, rel here. How are ya?
Cranky is when you spout off for preceived faux pas, not actual rudeness.

Merle said...

Dear Robyn ~~ Must never ring you as
it sounds dangerous. It is most annoying when ppl don't give their names. Usually I can recognize most.
Glad you liked the stories and jokes.
We have a week all well over 3o s to
look forward to. NOT. I could easy become cranky and join you.
Take care, Love, Merle.

Liz said...

I agree there's a sort of arrogance in not giving your name. I'll tell you a secret: I actually have trouble telling my sons apart when they call on the phone! Luckily one now lives with us but if he happens to be out at the time the phone rings ...

I have to stall and try and work it out. I mean it's okay if it's only a distant friend but your own child?!

Liz said...

But are you wearing purple?