12 February 2007

Nonsense




I feel very nonsensical today...in quite a silly mood, in fact. As Oscar is asleep and therefore totally ignoring me, I have no other option than to post my silliness for you lot...enjoy!
Twisted Nursery Rhymes

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And a bloody great pumpkin, right in the middle!

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider and sat down beside her.
What did Miss Muffet say?
"Sod off, hairy legs!"

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating a Christmas pie
He put in his thumb
and pulled out a plum
and said, "Ouch! That was bloody hot!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jill, the dill , forgot her pill
And now they have a daughter.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's soldiers and all the king's men
Said, "Goody, scrambled eggs for breakfast!"

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat where have you been?
I've been up to London to visit the Queen.
Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat what did you do there?
I was knighted, so it's Sir Pussy Cat, if you don't mind.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as soot.
Into Mary's bread and jam
His sooty foot he put!

Mary had a little lamb
and all the doctors fainted!

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
It goes to school with her each day
Between two slabs of bread.

Polly, put the kettle on.
Polly, put the kettle on.
Polly, put the kettle on.
Polly! How many more times to I have to say,
Put the bloody kettle on before I die of thirst!

Hickory Dickory Dock
Two mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one
And the other one got away.

Eeny Meeny Miny Moe
Catch a tiger by the toe
If he squeals, let him go
Then run like hell!

That's manic Monday for me today.

By the way, the weather forecast, as predicted by sticking my head out the window, is for more rain! You little beauty, Hughie!

18 comments:

Lee said...

There you are feeling all light and breezy and I'm here swearing my head off! lol

It's raining here too, which is wonderful. Send it down, Hughie, I say, as well!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Oh dear, Lee. What's wrong? Tell aunty Robyn...

Yes, the rain would be good if there was enough of it. We're just being teased at the moment. The thunder is muttering but is all talk and no action.

Peter said...

Heavy rain here at Gympie for about half an hour at 7 pm.

Mary had a little lamb
With it she used to sleep
The lamb turned out to be a ram
And Mary had a sheep

Gattina said...

That's not right ! Mary has not even spike shoes. Did you forget that we had to write about spikey stuff today ? Poor Oscar he better hides himself if you are in a bad mood today, lol !
I can tell you here it rains always and today too. Cats and dogs !

Puss-in-Boots said...

Peter: Good steady rain here and going by the radar, could be going for a couple of hours.

I hadn't heard that one about Mary and her little lamb!

Gattina: Mary with spiked shoes?? I haven't heard that one. No, I'm not in a bad mood, just a silly mood. As for Oscar, he'll get over it!

Liz Hinds said...

Very good, Robyn!

Merle said...

Hi Robyn ~~ Great fun post. At least you know your nursery rhymes, or the
twisted ones. Those teasers wer hard to type, with those strange words.
The dried milk one was good, i had guessed cheese. Wrong!! My back is
going Ok, thanks for your concern.
You take care, Robyn, Love, Merle.

Mountain Mama said...

I sure got my Monday Morning laugh. Those are great! Thanks for posting them.
We have sun today but it's still pretty cool out.

TJ said...

Those are some doosies!!
:-D

Granny said...

Some were brand new to me.

Funny.

Our rain has eased up. Perhaps it's headed your way in exchange for a little warm weather.

Carole Burant said...

I never heard my mama tell me them nursery rhymes quite like that! LOL Oh Robyn, those are precious! hehe Glad to hear you're still getting rain! Frigid as all heck over here...brrrrr! Hugs xox

Unknown said...

Mondays are excellent days to feel nonsensical!

rel said...

Robyn,
Jack and Jill went up the hill
They each had a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with two and a half,
They didn't go up for water.
rel

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Hi Robyn, loved the nursery rhymes ... too funny.
Hope all is well in your world.
We had a sprinkle of rain yesterday avo ... just a teaser, too. The sky frequently looks like it will dump rain for hours and hours, then it only showers briefly, and goes away again.
Oh well.
Happy Valentines Day to you.
Take care, Meow

Gattina said...

If you have time look at the two pictures I posted today for Wordless Wednsday. I found it somewhere in Belgium, it's not my dog !

Anonymous said...

Nuh, Did'nt work. I think I will go hop out out bed the other way and see what happens.'xox Nic

Gattina said...

Don't forget to pet Oscar !!!

DellaB said...

These are good fun Robyn .. thanks
:-)
Della