Life in the Fast Lane...My Way

Greetings for April First. No...I wasn't fooled by anyone and that's probably because I was too tired to notice anyway.

It was Fred's birthday yesterday. At 4.00 pm, he asked me if I would like to come over for a drink. Okay, I thought, just one glass of wine to say happy birthday. Hmmm...several hours later...well, you get the idea. In typical fashion, Fred's twin sister whose birthday it was also (just in case you didn't realise), her partner and Fred's older sister arrived. The next thing the barbecue was fired up, more wine materialised and we had a lovely evening. This is par for the course around our way.

Then today, Jane and I went to an antiques fair in Beaudesert, a country town about 3o minutes' drive away. If we'd have won our share of $21 million in Lotto last night, Jane and I would have gone totally amok. The beautiful old jewellery, the fabulous porcelain...it was just wonderful. There was delicate mother-of-pearl looking Irish Belleek; the most exquisite tiny bud vase in Royal Copenhagen; delicate Shelley porcelain and I saw a tiny kitten licking its paw that I thought I would buy for $10. Unfortunately I couldn't read the ticket properly, it was slightly hidden by another piece of porcelain, and the little kitten was Royal Doulton and priced at $110...gulp. It was only about 3 cm high.

We spent a lovely afternoon browsing through all these pieces of people's pasts. I wondered about the story behind an old gold and ruby ring and how it ended up in an antiques fair to be gazed at by complete strangers. I found a beautiful old powder compact with the inscription "Joycie, Christmas '98" and wondered who Joycie was and if it was a present from a beau. Every piece of antiquity there would have had a story and I would have loved to know what they were.

On the way home, we stopped at Olleys Fruit and Vegetable market which is owned by one of our neighbours, Seb. Now Seb is Italian and a really hard worker. I usually see him when I'm leaving for work at 6.00 am and at that time, Seb's running late. Anyway, we had a chat to him as we were looking for our fruit and veg. He was putting out some beautiful grapes and handed a big bag of grapes each to Jane and me and told us to tell the girls at the checkout not to charge us for them. Wasn't that lovely? They are beautiful big green oval-shaped seedless grapes, so sweet, and as I'm typing this, I have the bag in front of me and keep dipping my hand in and popping a grape in my mouth...can't you just feel your teeth popping the skin, releasing the soft flesh inside and the juice squirting over your tongue and teeth...mmmm. Jealous? Heheh...

Australia have done well in the swimming and I'll let you into the secret as to why we have such fast swimmers. You see, they train in the ocean and the reason why they go so fast...is because they have to outswim the sharks...makes for gold medallist certainties that method of training.

I rang Mum today. Unfortunately she and Harold have decided not to come to Australia for my daughter's wedding in September. Apparently her blood pressure is all over the place and she's a bit worried that she might end up in hospital. She just hates going into hospital and the thought that something may happen and she'd end up in hospital in another country doesn't do anything for her at all. Not only that, the last time they were over, Harold was found to have a DVT when they arrived home. So we have to be realistic about things. They are very disappointed as are we. As I said to Mum, she has all her marbles and we keep forgetting she's not that far off 90.

From there the talk led to her "popping her clogs" as she terms it. Apparently she told a friend she wanted "When the Saints go Marching in" played at her funeral. Her friend was horrified, but when she told us, my brothers, cousins and me, we were rapt. Nothing like a good party to send her off and I suggested the Louis Armstrong version, which Mum was most enthusiastic about. My mission, which I have accepted, (and the tape self destructed in three seconds) is to find a CD or tape of that particular song by the late, great Satchmo and send it to her.

I shall let you know how I get on. Anyway, Mum then went on to say that she doesn't want me or Peter, my brother who also lives in Queensland, to make the trip to New Zealand for her funeral. I told her we were coming and what was she going to do about it? I said we wanted to have a good rowdy wake and talk about her and all the times she got her "mords wixed", much to her embarrassment and our amusement. Mum's reaction? "Bloody hell, I'm glad I won't be there!" Now, I ask you...

Well, that's me for April First. Hope not too many of you got caught...talk to you all later.